


never on the day you leave

by moonbaecafe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Birthday Party, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 05:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20670011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonbaecafe/pseuds/moonbaecafe
Summary: Yes, Changbin wants to say, but his body’s already betrayed him—his body’s already told everyone his secret. So he says it. He lets out what he’s feeling after he wipes his mouth clean, taking a swig of some mouthwash that Chan passed him, before sobbing in Jeongin’s arms. Today was supposed to be about Chan and his birthday and Changbin’s such an asshole he couldn’t even give Chan that. You’re selfish, Changbin, that’s why I don’t want to be with you anymore, Changbin remembers Minho saying and it echoes through his mind.And if it couldn’t get any worse, the front door creaks open and the last person he wanted seeing him in the vulnerable state had just seen him. “Changbin?” Minho says, dropping the gift bag at the doorstep and rushing to him.Why did everything have to hurt this much?--playlist:x





	never on the day you leave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dominho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dominho/gifts).

> songs for the chapter:  
\- never on the day you leave by john mayer  
\- still feel like your man by john mayer  
\- kiss me by ed sheeran  
\- 100 bad days by ajr

The day was going to be rough, this much Changbin expected. 

He gets up out of bed, making a beeline for the bathroom to freshen himself up. Although he makes it to the bathroom quickly, Changbin feels his feet drag with every step. Hot water from the shower douses his back with high propulsion, covering him in a liberal amount of water and Changbin just sort of..stands there. He doesn’t want to move, doesn’t even want to do anything at all, but once the water starts turning a bit cold he hurries to finish his shower.

He takes a nibble of a piece of toast before throwing it in the waste bin. After that, he made his way to his car. The apprehension of even showing up to Chan’s birthday party without Minho swirls around him like a storm cloud.

Changbin feels deep in his heart he wouldn’t even be close to figuring out the type of storm that looms off the coast of his ever-lasting sadness, but he knows it was there.

The day goes on like this: Changbin would try his hardest to hold himself up, to bury every single emotion he felt, despite the constant reminder that Minho wasn’t there with him. He stands tall during the party, with Chan telling him that he was always going to be there for him no matter what happened between him and Minho, but it was still hard to drink. He tried, though. Changbin smiles when he needed to, greets people when he needed to—Changbin even stays for all the photos they asked for, even though he didn’t understand why there were so many pictures to begin with.

A reflection is what causes you to see what could’ve happened, what went wrong, and what you could’ve fixed it given better circumstances.A reflection also happens far too late, especially in Changbin’s case. Changbin wishes that he would’ve had his reflection period before it was far too late for he and Minho to make amends.

It didn’t happen that way though. Obviously.

By the time Changbin gets everybody to Chan’s place he’s convinced he’s about to vomit, despite the fact that he’s eaten a scrap of toast for breakfast earlier that day and French fries at the bar, at any minute because of the churning in his stomach had been getting too intense. He stays in the car for a bit longer—_as Jisung stares at him through the glass of the car window and wonders what’s up,_ Changbin sighs to himself—and wonders what this day would be like with Minho here. They would’ve definitely stayed back for a bit, lacing their fingers together and pecking each other’s lips. Their foreheads would’ve bumped, most definitely, and once Changbin came in for one last peck on the lips Minho would’ve squished his cheeks in his hands and told him that they had to go.

A light tap on the driver’s window startles Changbin out of his projection. _Jisung_, Changbin remembers. Jisung had been very much outside the car, waiting for him so they could go upstairs.

“Hey,” Jisung says as Changbin opens the car door, “You look upset.”

“I know—”

“Is it because Minho’s not here yet? He said he was sick, so he couldn’t come,” Jisung responds quickly, “He said he was sorry, for what I don’t know. But I figured you knew that, considering you’re dating him.” Jisung smiles, and on a better day Changbin would be in awe at his radiance, but right now? He’s just hollow

Wishing Changbin the best? Why couldn’t _Minho_ just text Jisung the real reason why he’s not here? Why couldn’t _Minho_ tell everyone they broke up a month before they were supposed to be here? Why did he leave Changbin to tell everyone that they didn’t share their anniversary with Chan’s birthday anymore?

Why did Minho get to forget everything about their relationship and leave to Changbin to relive? _Minho_ always was better at breaking dull news to everyone, he’d surely tell everyone that he and Changbin were nothing special and to get over it, that they were over and they need to move on-

_Stop it_, he thinks, feeling tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, _this is Chan’s birthday party. Today isn’t about you, Seo Changbin. Hold it together for Chan._

“I did know,” Changbin says, “I was kinda bummed out about it, wanted to stay home with him to help him with whatever he needed, but he said for me to go-” _away, leave me alone, we’re done Changbin,_ “anyway. He told me not to miss Chan’s party, even if he wasn’t going. I-” _miss him so much it hurts like crazy, don’t know why he even broke up with me in the first place, wish he’d let me see him again, “_felt bad leaving, but he insisted.”

“We all know how Minho likes to party,” Jisung laughs, “Come on Bean, let’s get upstairs. All the interesting stuff is happening up there. We wouldn’t want to be the hyungs that miss Felix and Seungmin’s shenanigans, would we?” Jisung slings an arm around Changbin’s shoulders, bringing him in close. It was comforting, to say the least, and Changbin thanked the universe for giving him friends like Jisung and Felix and even Chan, that drunk ass.

He still misses Minho though, that’s a void that would never truly be filled.

That’s besides the point, Changbin and Jisung take the elevator up to Chan’s place—the penthouse at the top of the apartment building because he’s rich from music royalties alone, that talented bastard—doing a body count to ensure everyone who was in Chan’s apartment was accounted for. Chan walks over to him, barely stumbling but still _very_ drunk, slinging his arm over Changbin’s shoulder that had Jisung's hand occupying them not even a few minutes before.

“I got a text from Minho right now,” Chan slurred, “He said he’s not feeling so sick anymore. He’s almost here and he told me not to drink too much without him,” Chan shoves his phone into Changbin’s hands, “Read it. It’s all there.”

It was all there, for Changbin and Jisung to read in the group chat Changbin left a month ago. Changbin feels it in his throat, and he’s running to the bathroom before he can puke. And he does, he pukes with seven other pairs of eyes on him.

“Changbin-hyung,” Jeongin asks from outside the doorframe. Changbin notices his tears are falling only when Jeongin gets up-close and brushes them away. “Changbin-hyung, are you alright?”

_Yes_, Changbin wants to say, but his body’s already betrayed him—his body’s already told everyone his secret. So he says it. He lets out what he’s feeling after he wipes his mouth clean, taking a swig of some mouthwash that Chan passed him, before sobbing in Jeongin’s arms. Today was supposed to be about Chan and his birthday and Changbin’s such an asshole he couldn’t even give Chan that. _You’re selfish, Changbin, that’s why I don’t want to be with you anymore, _Changbin remembers Minho saying and it echoes through his mind.

And if it couldn’t get any worse, the front door creaks open and the last person he wanted seeing him in the vulnerable state had just seen him. “Changbin?” Minho says, dropping the gift bag at the doorstep and rushing to him.

Why did everything have to hurt this much?


End file.
